


such a brazen solicitation

by kismetNemesis



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Bisexual Male Character, Character Study, Crushes, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, POV Second Person, Unrequited Crush, but only sort of unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 16:26:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8497084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kismetNemesis/pseuds/kismetNemesis
Summary: Avi’s hand is half-resting on the outside of your knee. He’s showing you his hand, in more than one way. You realize very belatedly that he is hitting on you.
Or: Magnus explains why he can't do this whole romance thing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I've chomped the flavor of droosy/brentraptor's Avi a lot here, but as she says, he's open source.

“Do you have a crush on anyone?” asks Avi, who is very drunk and very leaning on your shoulder. You’re only kind of drunk yourself, and you’re leaning on the back of your chair more than anything. 

Despite this late-night hang sesh involving only you and Avi, he’s chosen to sit directly next to you, which makes playing fantasy Go Fish kind of awkward. You have to lean your cards at forty-five degrees to escape accidental scopage.

“And I’m not- I’m not asking about love, or anything,” he continues. “There’s a god damned difference between _crush_ and _love_ , you know?” 

You know.

Avi’s hand is half-resting on the outside of your knee. He’s showing you his hand, in more than one way. You realize very belatedly that he is hitting on you.

“Um,” you say. There’s no good way to say what you have to say next. Luckily or maybe unluckily, Avi seems to pick up what you’re putting down.

“Oh, man,” he says. “Are you not into dudes?”

“I’m not really into anyone right now,” you flounder. It’s a half-truth. Avi gives you a look that could make Taako cry, the son of a bitch. It stabs you right in the section of your heart you normally reserve for sad puppies.

“Translation, not into me. It’s cool,” he says, standing up. “Thought it was worth a shot, y’know?” Out of desperation, you grab his hand. 

“It would have been,” you plead. “Worth a shot. Will you let me explain?” You’re not sure why now is the time you want to discuss this stuff, but it is, and you’re not letting him escape uninformed. He’s confused, and definitely a little flustered about you holding his hand. He gives it an absent-minded stroke with his thumb, and you’re a little flustered yourself.

Mercifully, though, he does sit back down, and regards you calmly and openly. He’s a really good dude, is the thing. You don’t know you wouldn’t have left a person-shaped hole in the door, were you him. 

“First of all, it’s definitely not that I’m not into dudes. And you’re a good-looking one, at that.” He blushes and breaks eye contact for a moment. 

“Thanks, man,” he finally manages to get out. “Uh, obviously, you’re pretty okay yourself.”

“Thanks,” you say, swallowing. “Anyways. I’ve been in two relationships in my life, total.” 

“For real?” Avi’s eyes are wide. “But you- you’re-” He gestures vaguely at your body and then hides his face in his hands. 

“Thanks,” you repeat, trying not to hide your own face. You have no skill points in dealing with being really, really flattered. “Um. My first relationship was with a girl named Lindsay. We were sixteen, and it lasted the duration of summer camp.”

“And the second one?” You’re immensely grateful that he doesn’t ask what the fuck you’re going on about.

“That was-” you break off. God, you’re not drunk enough for this. This is much less of a blindside than the whole deal with the chalice, but it’s a pretty damn blind side. “It was with my wife. Julia.” Even saying her name makes your heart break all over again. 

“Oh, Magnus.” Avi’s hugging you, and you don’t hesitate to lean into it. “She’s gone, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” you say, and that’s when you start crying.

“Oh my god,” says Avi. “Shit. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you sniff. “I mean, it’s not okay, but it’s in the past, y’know?”

The past that you can’t seem to outrun, lately. The past you could have changed. The past you might not know everything about.

“Have you told Taako and Merle about this?” 

“Well, no,” you admit. “We’ve kind of got this whole emotional embargo going. Keeps things simple, you know?”

“Um...” Avi clearly does not know. Well, Avi can think whatever he likes. For better or for worse, you’ve found a family, and you’re not gonna rock that houseboat.

“But I guess I brought this up to tell you that I just can’t do relationships now. It’s fucking horrible to find the one and then lose her.” Avi nods against your shoulder. You’ve sort of been having this whole conversation in a half-cuddle. “So I can’t... I can’t lose someone else. I can’t even imagine there being someone else.”

“I get you. It fucking sucks, but I get you.” He lets you go, gently, and you wipe at your eyes a little. 

“But it’s not like I don’t feel anything anymore,” you find yourself saying. “Like you said there’s a difference between love and crush. If things were different...” You trail off, worried Avi will cling to this and get some kind of hope you’ll have to put down again.

“If things were different.”

“There’s any number of people I’d be happy to date.” Avi nods seriously. The number of people flits across your mind, from your crush on Avi himself to your hero-crushes on Carey and Killian to the half-crush you’d only admit under pain of someone else’s death, Taako. You can’t help it if literally everyone you know is hot, okay?

“You’re a really great person, you know that, Magnus?” You kind of grimace. It’s a nice compliment, but right now it does not sit well.

“Hah.”

“No, really. I wish things could be different for you.” He’s holding your hand again, but both of you know there’s no blush to it. 

“Well. We can’t change the past” (it’s not what she would have wanted) “so we just have to make the most of our future, right?” Avi nods, bright-eyed, at you second half-truth. You can’t actually see a future beyond dying in pursuit of a relic, to be totally honest with yourself.

“I’m gonna head out, have to send Merle out for errands early tomorrow,” he says, and you let him stand up this time. “I appreciate you telling me this stuff.”

“Thanks for listening, and for the hug, man, it was dope.”

“Hey, come by and get one anytime. On the freeskies.”

You exchange a poorly-executed fistbump- par for the course with Avi- and then he’s gone. 

You should probably clean up some of the cards you guys dropped on the ground, but instead you feel for Steven’s bubble and hold him up at eye level. 

“You’re not going anywhere, are you?” you ask him rhetorically. He blinks. “Good boy.” For the fifty-first time, you regret not having any kind of spellcasting. If you did, you could scoop up Taako and Merle and keep them in magical bubbles, too. It’s a silly image, and it makes you laugh a little. Taako would be out of that thing in seconds. Merle would probably just take a nap. 

No, you know you can’t make other people do a damn thing. All you can do is try to protect them. 

Geez, what kind of Miller-flavor fantasy are you having about keeping your family in bubbles? _You’re a really great person._ That’s hilarious.

You don’t wanna confront any of your personal demons right now, so you do actually start picking up the cards, but it’s not quite enough of an evasive maneuver. The legit truth is that Taako and Merle _are_ your “someone else,” even though it’s not in a romantic way. Your someone elses who get themselves into danger constantly.

God damn it. You’ve already cried once. Shouldn’t it be a once-per-day action?

Before you know it you find yourself in Taako’s room. He’s splayed out in the middle of his bed, taking up as much room as possible. The rise and fall of his chest under the bathrobe that you’re pretty sure he stole from an inn comforts you immensely.

As quietly as possible, you lie down on the floor and pillow a discarded robe under your head. Unfortunately for you, your rogue skills don’t really extend to stealth-sleeping. Taako sits up and has a spell ready before he even manages to push up his sleeping mask and see you holding your arms up in surrender.

“Magnus, what the actual fuck?”

“Oh, hi, Taako. Is this not my room?” you try. 

“No, you dumb shit,” he groans. “Does the sign that says “No Fucking Fighters Or Clerics Allowed” mean nothing to you?” He does literally have that sign, and for good prank-related reason. You don’t regret anything. You and Merle are the prank kings.

“I’m a human, I can’t see in the dark.”

“Fucking,” Taako begins. “Stupid. Alright.” 

He’s quiet, and you take that as tacit permission to close your eyes again. 

“Maggie,” he says.

“Mmhm?”

“If you’re gonna sleep in here at least get in the bed.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you absolute child.” You climb up and tuck yourself into the quarter of the bed he’s left open for you. It’s, like, comically too small, but you don’t give a shit. Taako’s extremely cold foot poking into your calf is better than a sleeping potion. 

You don’t really think you’ll have better dreams than usual, but this way, if someone other than you ignores the sign, you’ll be ready.

**Author's Note:**

> God, this just started as a fic explaining my Magnus headcanons, and then people started crying and hugging. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
